Search
  • TweakUnique

Tweaked Pranx

Subway Solicitation

A disheveled, stumbling homeless man enters a somewhat crowded MTA car. He materializes an old school boombox, puts it next to one of the doors, hits the play button (an actual tactile button). The song starts to play, “I need a dollar, dollar, dollar is what I need.” The man’s body language is sullen as his raspy voice attempts to hold the notes. He shuffles around asking for a dollar. A shy Tanner, looks at him, and in totally un-tanner-esk pity, hands him a dollar. The homeless man starts to straighten up as the boombox unexpectedly switches to All-Star. I shed my poncho to be wearing an excellent suit, and sing a small duration of All-Star before handing him a $100 bill for being a great person! Horny Justice We walk through some busy area of NYC, when some car honks gratuitously, we go toward their windshield carrying what appears to be a spray bottle and paper towels. Then we blast the fog horns.

Sing at Women, Get Respect

Tanner is walking down quad, he stops in his tracks at the drop dead gorgeous girl. They make eye contact. Tanner starts to sing, “Oh there she was just walking down the street.” At this point several brothers join in the melody, “Doo a day a duh duh dum di di dum” And then you complete a minute worth of the song. (lyrics here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/moffatts/dowahdiddydiddy.html) If she’s all like “Oh, who are you?” Tanner (or some other brother capable of singing with a girlfriend ) says, “I’m just another balanced man of SigEp.”

Farting in Public

Start going up an escalator backwards, then fart. Make eye contact.

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

It's been a while since I posted a poem. So much irritation subdued in frustration. The creative bell rings less often when these distractions soften the blows to vibration and stifled timing. Here I