Joy Boy Kiernan

Joe Boy Kiernan,

I actually remember when you were small, but suddenly one summer you were big and tall. Your name is now somewhat of a misnomer since you’re ridiculously jacked. I assume your abs are supporting something like a 16-pack. A while ago the bad boys used to push you around, toss you in the bay and imagine you drowned. Little Dewey was hilariously mischievous as he encouraged “sacrifices” of all the rest of us. And then Ben, another little brother, would be subject to the same terrors of so many others. You should remember that I’m the youngest of three, I can only imagine the jokes played on L.B.