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  • Writer's pictureTweakUnique

Catan-Ya (poem)

I read Catan-Ya on YouTube Let’s sit down and enjoy another round of…


Oh, wow! I rolled an 8! Sometimes luck just feels like fate…

(sigh) C’mon Blue, you need some sheep… lest you embargo ‘til defeat. Don’t be so suspicious White… lend help, it’ll be alright. Red, you won’t get my trades, no! See, she’s too powerful, and therefore our mutual foe.

A sheep for a wood, a sheep for a stone? Sheep for brick? Throw me a bone! Guys, I clearly see what drives you, I understand your woes, helping me won’t compromise you, let’s stay friends, not foes! Come now, come all, let’s take longest road, provide me the wherewithal to have her slowed! We must work together against that threat, lest all three of us succomb to mutual regret! I’ll deprive Red of 2 since she’s got 9, my words are true. Oh! Red, don’t whine…

You won’t believe the benefits you’ll reap! These deals are hot, I have so much sheep. We’re sick of Red’s tricks, and I can defend this… I’ve only got 6, but at least Red won’t end this. Not just 1… but 2 sheep for a brick, and 2 sheep for your wheat, ah don’t be a dick! These trades are sweeet.

Alright ladies and gents, get ready to bleat… I can do it, monopoly on sheep!! Longest road as promised, and then the sheep port for 1, a city on the desert, and why not… a dev card for fun.

Ah, redemption from sin, a chapel is the 11th of my 10 point win.

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